my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
