oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
