Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
