There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
