He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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