Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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