you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
