Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
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At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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