i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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