FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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