She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
