after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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