I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
