Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
