I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
