she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this will be a night to untag.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Randomize
