I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
