I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
