I want to make a zoo with you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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