Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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