I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize