I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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