if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
