Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
