...so i touched it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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