No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
