New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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