Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize