Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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