I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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