he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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