Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
