Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
