I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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