When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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