just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize