Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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