dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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