Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
