He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
