I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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