he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
