why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
