I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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