i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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