google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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