come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
