ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
