Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
