Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just fell off a train. Bad.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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