I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
