Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
